FEAR OR FANTASY
I created this piece for the Fear or Fantasy exhibition curated by artist Asa Kennedy. The prompt, to create work touching on your fears or fantasies. I decided to play on both.
I took this prompt as an opportunity to be experimental in my creative process, contemplating how vulnerable I wanted to be. This led me to turn towards my journals. I’ve kept journals for the past couple of years where I write my most vulnerable thoughts, emotions, insights, ideas, and drawings. A gateway into my psyche.
Deciding to push my comfort zone, I searched through my journaling from the past year and embedded my writings and drawings into the work. I found inspiration from one of my favorite artists, Jean-Michel Basquiat. I’ve unceasingly admired his powerful vision as an artist and his process of collaging, which inspired and led me to experiment within my own art practice.
Exploring my journals took me back to where I had just been a couple of days, weeks, and months prior. As I found excerpts to share, I made Xeroxed copies of them to paste onto canvas. Before pasting the clippings I chose to delve into the colors I wanted to use to evoke the power of my raw emotions: anger, sadness, grief, love, and fear.
The color red was an earnest first choice, with a mixture of blue to create different hues of red.
Guided by my Intuition, I splashed and slathered paint on the canvas with my bare hands releasing my emotions onto the painting. After I laid down the initial background color I started to paste the clippings onto the canvas, arranging the clippings to tell a story that would need to be searched out by the observer to piece together.
After collaging the clippings I then initiated the action of painting the character.
Who is this character? A character I drew whilst riding the waves of depression, I consider it to be fragments of my ego. For when I am at my most vulnerable my shadow emitted emotions into the painting that go deeper than what is discerned beyond the facade.
Confronting the fears of sharing my ego, I willing leaned in. Shining light onto the darkness to discover healing.
During the process of painting this character I cried, yelled and screamed into the painting letting out the emotions that had bubbled up to the surface and I must say it was quite cathartic. I let go of my rigidity and flowed as I painted, guided by inspiration to prompt me to my next move.
I chose to use brighter colors for the character to indicate the wounded child that lies within our egos to be seen as human instead of unnatural.
The use of the words ‘Exit’ and ‘Salida’ connect to the fantasy that we create between the present reality and the afterlife. I’ve often thought that perchance the afterlife, the spiritual realm is more of a beautiful place than the reality I’m currently in. But do we really know what is on the other side?
The words and the smaller character entangled in-between are a representation of being in limbo between the present and the afterlife.
NÚMEROS DE AMOR
Hope and love are found in the numbers, I am a firm believer that our ancestors and guides help us on our journeys to lead us onto the roads we must travel to learn lessons to aid us in strengthening our intuitive discernment but to also find healing.
If you look closely you can see the painted angel numbers on the canvas. A recognition of the love we have gleaming upon us from the spiritual realm and a reminder that I am loved and cared for by my ancestors. To trust in the journey and have faith in myself that in this life I will prevail. A reminder to love my ego to care for the wounded child and not forget the shadow that walks behind me but to invoke it, welcome, and acknowledge that they’re there.
Gracias por leer, I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into mi mente creativa y proceso.